How to Discipline Your Heart
by Oldest Soul
Summary: Countless Titan kills to his name . . . A household name by the age of eighteen . . . Known for a heartlessness to rival that of the monsters themselves. There was only one thing Levi Ackerman didn't expect to catch him full in the face. And that was falling in love. LevixPetra
1. New Recruits

**please keep in mind that I have not read the manga, only seen the anime, so the events of this story may not always concur with the canon from the manga**

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><p>Chapter 1: New Recruits<p>

"Name?"

The man's face reminded Levi of an ancient cow that had eaten too much grass, with droopy eyes and a mole the size of a mountain on his nose. After a moment, the sparse moustache twitched and the caterpillar eyebrows came together.

"Please answer the question, young man. What is your name?"

"Levi Ackerman." Levi answered after a small pause. The cow man bent over his paper to scribble something.

"Date of bi—"

"You spelled it wrong."

One of the caterpillars lifted in contempt. "I'm sorry?"

"My name." Levi answered, "It's l-e-v-_i_. Not 'y'."

There was a brief staring war in which Levi emerged the victor, the cow man rewriting Levi's name in defeat.

"A-_hem._" He went on, "Date of birth."

"December twenty-fifth. 829." Levi replied nonchalantly, already expecting the response.

"You said 829?"

"Yes."

"Did you fail twice or something?" the cow man asked with an air of surprise.

"No." he offered no explanation.

Skeptical, the cow man ripped off the paper at the dotted line, holding it out to Levi. "Down the hall, second room on the left. If you pass the physical exam, you're in. _Next!_"

…

Levi was acutely aware of the fact that his standard issue pants were too long, sitting uncomfortably loose around his ankles. His boots were made for a woman's legs – they didn't carry men's boots in his size. And his cadet jacket was a little broad in the shoulders.

He was one of the last to arrive on the training field, falling into the second to last row. The redhead to his left gave him a funny look, which he returned coldly.

"Sorry for staring," the girl finally gave in, ponytail bobbing as she turned her head, "But you look a little old to be in a trainee squad, dontcha?"

"I am." Levi answered curtly, always sure to choose the shortest answer he possibly could.

"So. . .did you like, fail twice then?" she asked curiously, undeterred by his lack of friendliness.

"Do I look like the kind of person who would fail twice?" he cut his eyes at her, only to see her suppressing a giggle.

"Well with that expression I'd say yeah, you kinda do."

"Walked right into that one, buddy." The boy behind Levi added with a grin.

"_ATEEEEEEN-TION!"_ a gravelly voice rang out over the seven rows of recruits, who obediently snapped into a salute.

"Drill instructor." The boy muttered glumly, "He taught my brother. Supposed to be a real dragon."

The drill instructor was a man of intimidating stature, at least six foot four and built like an ox. His voice was like rocks grating together as he addressed the trainees.

"You have chosen to serve humanity by going against the odds, by fighting the forces that condemn us, by challenging our very nature as humans. And for that, I commend you.

"There are one hundred fifty eight of you here today. By the time three years have passed and you are eligible for military enrollment, I estimate there will be less than half of you left. Most of the ones who don't make it will drop out. Some will be dismissed . . . a few of you may die. The fact is, if you are incompetent, you are not fit to become a soldier. Simple as that."

Several of the recruits shifted uncomfortably at his words, including the boy behind Levi. The red-haired girl did not.

"Cadet training consists of three major parts: classroom studies, physical training, and field training. The classroom studies are exactly what they sound like. Three hours of every day will be spent in the classroom. . ."

"So." The girl to the left had grown bored already, relaxing her salute. "What's your story then? Did you just enroll late or what?"

"Something like that. . ." Levi allowed, not really willing to go into the details. It hurt his pride a little to admit he'd been captured and dragged into cadet training by the Scout Regiment, one Erwin Smith in particular. It didn't help that they'd put him in the beginning class, which was two years below him in age.

"You're not much of a talker, are ya?" the girl inquired, and Levi felt his nerves beginning to fray.

"You are."

"Well I –"

"_YOU TWO LOVEBIRDS IN THE BACK! YES YOU, SHORTY, AND YOU, CARROT-TOP!"_

The drill instructor elbowed his way to their row, leaving more than a few shrimpy cadets scrambling out of his way.

Up close, six foot four was somewhat more imposing than five rows away.

The redhead got it first.

"Cadet! What – is – your – name?!" the force of his shouting caused flyaway strands hair to be visibly blown back as he bellowed into her face.

"Sir!" her arms were saluting once again, replying with steadfast determination, "Petra Ral! Sir!"

"Well, Cadet Ral." The instructor hissed, baring his teeth in an almost feral manner, "If you want to become a soldier, I suggest you refrain from chatting with mister short stuff over here." He gestured towards Levi without taking his eyes off Petra. "Unless of course, you'd prefer to work in the fields as our first dismissal."

"Sir! I would not! Sir!"

"Then learn to keep your mouth shut, Ral."

"Sir!"

There was a rush of air that ruffled Levi's bangs as the instructor bent down to look him in the eye. Levi resisted the urge to lean back as Petra had, standing his ground instead.

"Cadet!" his breath stank of onions, "What-is-your-name?!"

"Levi Ackerman."

"Let's try that again." The instructor said quietly, dangerously. "Cadet, what is your name?"

"Levi Ackerman." A long pause. Then, ". . .sir."

"And why did you join the military, Mister Ackerman?"

Levi clenched and unclenched his jaw before answering. "Because I had to . . .sir."

The instructor gave him a long look. "Don't tell me you're the one Erwin sent down here. I expected a prodigy. Instead I get an arrogant toad in women's boots?"

"Do I look like a toad to you, sir?" Levi asked tightly, groaning mentally as soon as he'd said it.

"Actually," Onion-breath smirked, "You kinda do." He straightened, apparently finished belittling Levi. "Alright hup to, Cadet. That's five laps for being an asshole and five because I don't like you. . . _NOW!_"

Levi hupped to, an angry voice shouting behind him "_QUIT GIGGLING, RAL! YOU ARE NOT FIVE YEARS OLD!"_

Followed by a hasty "No sir!" and the thump of a salute.

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><p><strong>thank you for reading, please review!<strong>


	2. Thursday

**wow, I got 6 reviews on the first chapter! I feel accomplished ^w^**

**this is sort of part two of the prologue I guess.**

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><p>Chapter 2: Thursday<p>

By the second month of training Levi had earned himself a new nickname. And it was 'That bastard Ackerman'.

Needless to say, this did not bother him in the slightest.

The source of this nickname could be attributed to the fact that with apparent ease, Levi was already far outstripping his teammates in terms of skill. He was a natural at ODM, performed flawlessly in the field (taking down Titan mannequins on his own), and although he was a slacker in the classroom and never thought twice about tossing his homework out the window, he was always able to ace the tests.

The jealousy spread like a disease.

Levi himself did nothing to improve upon this. He was known for isolating himself and speaking only when spoken to, even then in the shortest way possible, which was rather detrimental to any friendship attempts by classmates wanting to learn the secrets of his success.

Perhaps the only person who seemed totally unaffected by the plague of envy going around was Petra Ral, although this was probably because Petra was the only person who could even come _close_ to Levi's skill level. Unlike Levi, she was also a chatty and outgoing girl. This made her very popular among fellow Cadets and instructors alike.

Nor was she afraid of Levi, as so many of their classmates were.

Later in his life, Levi would remember the day Petra sat down across from him as a Thursday, though why this thought stuck in his mind he would never realize until much further into his career.

This particular Thursday found Levi sitting alone and isolated as usual, which was the way he preferred it. He picked through his army food with wooden chopsticks he would not put in his mouth for fear of getting splinters, noting not for the first time that the food in promotional posters in the mess hall were considerably lacking in a certain cardboard quality found in all army food.

The sound of nearing footsteps and a flash of ginger ponytail brought him from his musing as Petra thumped down opposite him, making the table shake with the force of her body, despite her small size. (She was one of the only people in their year who was shorter than Levi, which he liked because it meant he had someone to literally look down on with his signature cold stare, which was crucial for its full effect).

"You did good in the hand-to-hand combat session today." Petra remarked cheerfully, digging into her mush with vigor. The fact that she was seemingly unperturbed by its utter disgustingness irked Levi. Then again, nearly everything irked Levi.

She pressed on when met with no reply. "You know there's a rumor going around that you can fight like that because you were once in a gang." Petra paused to stuff another bite of chicken into her mouth, then continued. "Why do we even have to learn hand-to-hand anyway? It's not like we're gonna be fighting one-on-one with a Titan, no swords or anything."

Levi scratched his thumbnail on the edge of the wooden table, peeling off little slivers of wood. One lodged under his nail and he hissed quietly in pain while the girl across from him went on obliviously.

"—And then he told me I wasn't allowed to hold just _one_ sword, I have to hold them both at the same time, which is totally stupid because—"

"It's for balance." Levi cut in. He may have been standoffish and uninterested, but he couldn't resist showing off from time to time.

"—Sorry?" Petra blinked, apparently having forgotten that she was talking to anyone.

"You have to hold two swords," Levi explained slowly, "because you use one to slash with, and the other is for balancing and controlling your momentum on the ODM gear. If you only use one your weight distribution will be off-center and eventually you'll fall upside down."

Which was the most he'd said to anyone in a while. And which, he decided, was probably enough human interaction for one day. So with that Levi sighed heavily through his nose for effect, got to his feet, and took his army food to another empty table, leaving a bewildered Petra behind him.

…

With the average life expectancy of a soldier at age 32, Doc Pixus was an old soldier by anyone's standards. He had been old and he was determined to stay old for a good while yet.

The symbol of the Garrison shone on his back, a proud beacon for humanity to follow. Although at the moment, the life form count in this small white room stood thusly; Soldiers: 4, Titans: 0, Little Cadet Squirts: 0, Other Humans: 0

Make that Little Cadet Squirts: 1. Someone was hiding behind the door, eavesdropping. Doc decided to let it go unmentioned; Abe was smart enough to tell when one of his charges was snooping around.

"So what's this all about, Abe?" A lazy hand strayed across the table aimlessly. "It's only been six months since this class started training. Too soon to think about early graduates."

"Cutting right to the chase, Nile, as usual." Abe snorted gruffly. Nile Dok, the recently promoted head of the Military Police, (a shrewd man who was a good soldier but had an abrasive personality) waited silently for an answer.

"Small talk is pointless." The fourth man cut in. He had not taken off his green traveler's cloak, signature of the Survey Corps. He was Keith Shadis, head of the Scout Regiment. And like most Scouts, he was always in a hurry.

"On the contrary," Abe acknowledged him with a nod, "We _are_ here about early graduates. Two, actually." He pulled from the inside of his jacket two folders, which fell onto the table with an audible _slap_. Doc could not read the names without his spectacles, but reached for the first one anyway, Keith taking the second. After fishing his reading glasses from the depths of his breast pocket, he placed them carefully on his nose and opened the folder.

A profile page was the first thing he saw, the picture of a scrawny young man glowering darkly at him from the piece of paper. Doc scanned over his information – the scores in all categories were the highest he'd ever seen from a Cadet, though his marks for teamwork left something to be desired. But there was something odd.

"According to his files, he was born in 829. That makes him fifteen." Doc raised an eyebrow at Abe, a silent suggestion that he should get himself a new scribe – and one that could record dates accurately.

"I didn't know it was possible to fail twice." Nile remarked with a hint of uncharacteristic indigence, "You're getting soft, Abraham."

"He didn't fail twice." Keith broke in, then shifted his gaze to Doc. "Levi Ackerman, right?"

"The very one." Doc replied, passing the boy's folder off to Nile. "What do you know about him?"

"He's not up for auction." Keith grunted, "The Survey Corps has had dibs on him from the start."

"If I didn't know better," Nile looked up from the folder, "I'd ask you what the hell you think you're talking about."

"Then it's a good thing you do know better." Keith answered edgily, tension blooming. The two men stared at each other for a moment, a silent tug-of-war taking place before Doc broke in.

"It's up to the boy to decide anyway." He motioned to Nile, "I haven't got to see the other one yet."

Nile gave up the second folder, which read _Ral, Petra_ on the top. Inside was a picture of a grinning freckled girl. Reading over her scores he saw that she was skilled, but almost nothing compared to her jaded classmate.

"I don't think this one has reached her full potential yet." Doc concluded, discarding the folder back onto the table, "If she's to be an early graduate, she will have to wait until later."

Nile nodded, "I agree."

"She is too young." Keith added gravely, "I would hate to see such good skill wasted in death before it has even peaked."

"That's not what you seem to think about the boy." A touch of contempt colored Nile's voice.

"Rather like you, Nile," the Scout's mouth twitched into a wry smile, "Ackerman is an old man trapped in a young man's body."

"Now might be a good time, Cadet." Abe said, seemingly out of the blue. The Cadet who had been eavesdropping slunk through the doorway. The wary eyes, slim frame, and dark hair belied his identity.

"Speak of the devil." Doc said cheerfully, nodding hello to the boy. He was met with an undecipherable glance. Levi Ackerman had seen his share of trouble; that much was clear.

"I'd send you on laps for poking your nose in where you don't belong, kid." Abe growled in what had become infamously known as the Drill Instructor Voice, "But I guess you'll be leaving us soon so I won't."

When Levi was silent, Abe prompted him. "_Thank you_, sir."

"No need to thank me, sir." Levi allowed without a trace of humor, his first words since entering the room. Abe scowled.

"Keep it up and you really will be running laps, Ackerman. I'm sure you know every piece of gravel on that track by now, dontcha?

It would also seem that Levi Ackerman had _been_ his share of trouble, too. Doc glanced over at his fellow commanders. Keith was looking like this was about what he expected. Nile's expression was harder to read, but clearly it was not love at first sight. Then again, the MP was not necessarily fond of discipline cases or smart-aleck rookies.

"So you want me to choose here and now where I'm going, do you?" Levi asked, looking from one commander to another.

"You don't have to choose now." Nile spoke up, "We'll give you a few days to think about it."

He made a move to stand and take his leave, but was interrupted.

"I'm going with the Scouts." The boy gave an almost imperceptible shrug, as if he didn't care in the slightest what happened to him. And then very quietly, almost a whisper, "I owe it."

And thus was the beginning of Levi's career as a Scout.

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><p><strong>hope you enjoyed, please review!<strong>


	3. The Outsiders

Chapter 3: The Outsiders

Levi was placed at the very bottom of the dung heap. He answered to a commanding officer who didn't pay him half of any mind at all. He showered in the same nasty cubicle provided to every common soldier. He was fifteen years old and did not need to borrow a razor from anyone, and he was all of five feet two inches. He had not graduated to men's boots.

Levi was not a piece in the game. Not yet.

He discovered, to his dismay, that being in the Survey Corps meant doing a whole lot of nothing. He spent most of his time on the training field, stabbing Titan mannequins at the nape of the neck and doing teamwork exercises. He was getting better at working with others.

In November of 845, nearly a month after he'd been enlisted, Levi was called for duty.

Cartography. That was the mission.

"You will travel in teams of two, and we will be using a formation recently developed by Captain Erwin Smith." Commander Shadis gestured to the tall blond figure beside him. Here was the very man himself, whom Levi had been rid of for seven months. Well, he supposed, all good things must come to an end.

One hundred fifty soldiers stood before Shadis and Smith, chosen for this formation's guinea pigs.

Levi had been positioned near the front of the formation, second row in. They gave him his flare belt and two horses – one spare, and sent him off to his partner, who was not much older than Levi by the looks of him. Which was not reassuring.

Form up at the gate, they said.

Seldom had Levi ever felt fear in his short life. He felt it now gripping his heart, clawing at his throat, lying like a lump of lead in his stomach, weighing him down. Sweat laced his palms and the reins of his horse he held tight in his fist, knuckles white.

But his face. His face remained stony and frowning, as ever. If there was one thing that reassured him it was that his face remained calm, even if his body did not.

Rows of men and women and horses ahead of him. Nervous fidgeting and shifting hooves and apprehensive silence bearing down on him from every single side.

And then a shout rising up from the front row. "Open the gate!"

With a huge amount of grating and creaking, the wall parted slowly. It seemed to be looking down at the soldiers forlornly as if warning them, _don't do this. Stay inside. I will protect you._

Humans and equestrians streamed through the opening, immediately fanning out into their respective positions. Levi urged his horse forward, moving with the crowd.

The first thing he noticed about the outside world; it was very empty. Nothing but flat grass and sky and clouds and a dark fuzz on the horizon that the map said was a forest.

It was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. It was also, he thought grimly, probably the _last_ thing he would ever see.

"Don't stand there!" someone growled from behind Levi; a young woman who might have been pretty if not for the huge scar marring her face, "Get moving!"

"We're that way." The tall, freckled boy motioned for Levi to follow. And although fear had been drawn with permanent marker all over his face, his voice was strong and cheerful. He was the type that talked too much when he was nervous, which was just fine with Levi, who had already clammed up.

"I'm Boris Fuller. Uh…you're that prodigy kid, right? The one who graduated early?"

"Yes." Levi focused on the mane of his horse as the formation began to take shape. Looking up, Levi could see two dark specks to his right that were the next pair, and two to the rear left. Slowly, they disappeared from sight, spreading further out.

"—And I have three little sisters," Boris was chattering, "I. . .I used to have an older brother. Mom didn't want me to be a Scout after he. . . well, he was a Scout too. But he didn't come back." Boris looked away for a moment. Then, "What about you? Got any family?"

"None." Levi replied shortly, which was mostly true. Thankfully, Boris didn't question after a sidelong look.

"You don't talk much, do ya?"

Which was all too close to something he'd heard before.

"No point. Too easy to fuck yourself up." He explained, "And besides, my foot fits too easily into my mouth without me talking." He glowered at the feminine shape of his footwear

"Wow. Two entire sentences, coming from you." Boris remarked, feigning astonishment.

"You should feel honored." Levi replied wryly.

"And a sense of humor, too? You're an accomplished young man, Levi."

The threat of death does strange things to people. In Levi's case, it made him his first friend.

It figured that they were talking about women when the first flare went up.

"See?" Boris flung out his hand at the rising column of red smoke to their right, "Even _talking _about them is bad luck!"

Levi said nothing but "I've got the flare," already loading his gun with one of the red cartridges. He raised his arm into the air and fired, then steered his mare to the left, away from the first signal.

Presumably, they circumvented the Titan, as none appeared. The same with the second and third warnings.

The fourth one broke through. About a minute after the flare went up, there came a figure from their left flank.

"It's a good six-meter." Levi noted, barely able to keep the apprehension from tightening his voice. Boris was uncharacteristically silent.

Levi and Boris were two of the lucky ones. Their adrenalin overpowered fear, and neither of them froze on the spot, as so many rookies were prone to do.

He had to give credit to the horse, though. She didn't rear or bolt but merely whinnied nervously and tossed her head, as did the spare.

Levi had seen pictures of Titans before in the classroom. He'd always thought they looked a little like humongous babies, and they might have been almost comical if not for the fact that they were human-devouring monsters.

He did not think this was comical in the slightest. The ground shook with the force of the thing's steps, and it moved with an unnatural speed comparable to that of a charging bull.

"Get ready." Levi murmured, drawing his swords. Boris did the same.

Levi forced himself to stay where he was and ignored the primordial urge to run as the Titan bore down on them. Boris swore quietly at the size of the thing.

Once the monster was close enough, having spied what it thought was going to be its next snack, the soldiers jumped, Levi swinging to the left and Boris to the right. The Titan seemed momentarily confused as to which of these small ants it should go for first, then decided to snatch at the bigger one – Boris.

Sticking mannequins in the neck was nothing like trying to stick a moving being in the neck. When Boris dodged, the Titan struck out at Levi's ODM cables instead, catching one in its massive fist.

A puny 130 pound soldier was nothing against a Titan's strength, and before he knew it the thing had his cloak in its grasp, so Levi did what came naturally. He screamed, and decided the mortification of such an act could wait until later.

This audible release of pent-up fear allowed him to regain his composure, and then he was slashing with his swords, cutting himself free and splattering his cloak with Titan blood. Almost immediately, the thing's hand began to regenerate.

Meanwhile, Boris had fought his way to its face and was busy picking at its eyes. His foot slipped dangerously close to its gnashing teeth, and Levi saw his chance, lodging his ODM cables in the Titan's shoulder and swinging around, slashing with all his strength at the weak spot.

Blood flew and the Titan froze, teetering for a long moment before crashing to the ground, causing a tiny earthquake. Within seconds, its body had disintegrated, leaving nothing but a skeleton in its place.

It was over so quickly, Levi realized. Somehow he had expected . . . more. (As if nearly being eaten wasn't enough already.)

"You killed a Titan." Boris acknowledged quietly. He stared at the bones, then looked at Levi. "Hey man, you _killed a Titan_!" he broke into a grin, "We're _alive_, too!"

Both of them were covered in blood and Levi's mare stepped back a pace when he tried to climb up, smelling Titan on him.

"Let's go," he said nonchalantly as the horse decided it was him after all and let him up, "We're not out of the water yet."

Although one hour passed in near silence, without event, Levi could not have been more correct. The next Titan that appeared later was nothing like the first, and the black smoke from the spotters went up _after_ the fact.

Levi fumbled with his flare gun again as the thing approached, it was at least ten times as fast as the six-meter, and travelling on all fours. Black cartridge, black cartridge. Where was the black cartridge? _There!_ He slammed the cartridge in and fired while Boris drew his swords.

"What the hell did we do to deserve an Abnormal?!"

"It won't go straight for us." Levi found that he was surprisingly calm now. All his fear and adrenalin had been spent on the first attack. Now all he had was cold clarity. "The Abnormals are supposed to always go for the center. We'll have to get in its way and _make_ it notice us." He, too, drew his swords with a delicate scraping noise, dried blood staining the steel of both.

They steered their horses directly into the path of the Abnormal, and both lodged their ODM cables into its flesh. This did not seem to bother it in the slightest, and it continued on without slowing. Levi's spare horse was crushed under its left hand as the monster barreled forward towards the center of the formation at breakneck speed.

Levi landed near the Titan's ribs and Boris on its back.

"I'll get its Achilles heel." The older boy offered, "Once it's down, you go for the neck!"

Levi nodded his assent and climbed into position on the Abnormal's back as Boris swung down its leg. In a flash, the thing realized what was going on and made a conscious move to stop him. There was no time for Levi to react, and by the time the monster had made its move, Boris was flatter than any intact human could be. And in that moment, an image seared into Levi's mind. And it would never leave.

Boris's femur poked through his pants and two ribs through his side. His face was a bloody mess, but even from atop a Titan's back, Levi could make out one blue eye reflecting the clouds.

"Boris!"

_I have three little sisters_.

After making sure of its kill, the Abnormal continued running, apparently having forgotten that there was a second man on its back, or maybe already having dismissed him as a threat. Either way, it had made a mistake.

The textbooks said that Titans felt minimal pain.

_By the time I'm done with you, you'll be screaming for mercy_.

Levi had no idea how far the Abnormal had run by now or how close they were to the center. So far they had encountered no other soldiers. Either they were spaced too far apart or the Titans had already ravaged this far, which was unlikely since there were no other monsters in sight, either.

What Levi _should_ have done was send another black smoke signal to warn other Scouts, but at this point he had all but forgotten his flare belt. He was focused on one thing and one thing only. And that was revenge.


	4. Skyfall

Chapter 4: Skyfall

If there was one thing Captain Erwin had learned in his career as a Scout, it was to be ready for anything. So when a ten-meter Abnormal came dashing at full speed towards the center of the formation, a single undersized soldier left on its back, he was prepared.

Levi's teeth chattered together and he bit his tongue more than once, such was the force of the Titan's running. It felt as though his eyeballs were being shaken from his head and the goddamn thing was trying to knock his brain against the inside of his skull.

Managing to wrap his fingers around the trigger of his ODM gear, Levi was able to swing freely, which lessened the bumping somewhat.

He could focus on the weak spot now, if he could only . . . yes! He shot his grappling hooks into the monster's bicep, at a perfect angle to slice out the nape.

And the Titan stopped, whipped around faster than it should have been able to, and snatched Levi right out of the air.

It had not forgotten about him nor dismissed him as a threat, it had only been unconcerned with him until its life was in danger.

Darkness pressed in on Levi as the Titan's fist closed around him. And then there was nothing but _pressure_. Dark, sweaty pressure from the palm of the beast on all sides. His arms were pinned to his sides; he could not swing his swords. He could not do anything. This was the end.

The ODM gear went first with the sound of a crushing metal. His remaining smoke cartridges popped, smothering him and contaminating whatever free air there was left. A sharp bit of ODM poked him through the side.

Then his shoulders, and he could _hear_ the snap as both of them dislocated. His cry of pain came out as nothing but a grunt.

His chest would be next, he knew. He'd be crushed to pulp in a Titan's hand, and he'd come out looking exactly like Boris had with his bones sticking out and his eyeballs to the sky.

On the verge of blacking out, Levi couldn't make sense of what happened next. The pressure stopped suddenly, there was bright sunlight against his eyelids. And then a jarring thump against the ground as he bounced out of the now limp hand.

The pain the jolt brought to his shoulders was enough to clear Levi's head. The rest of the Abnormal hit the ground with an almighty crash. A horse's corpse was to Levi's right, and then from his left a tall figure came into view, blond and heavy-browed. He slung Levi over his shoulder seemingly without effort at all. The pain in his shoulders was dulling now, the green of Erwin's cloak blending with the blood-soaked grass before everything went black.

…

Again, Levi was awoken by pain in his right shoulder. He nearly cried out but the noise stuck in his throat as the pain suddenly began to die.

The smell hit him first. There was that scent of old boot leather mixed with ODM grease and laundry detergent.

He was in the Cadet school. In the laundry room.

"Hey kid." A middle aged woman entered Levi's field of vision, hair pulled back and wearing a white apron that was stained with red streaks. "You awake now?"

"Yes." Levi replied shortly as she placed both her hands on his left shoulder.

"It's gonna hurt." She added helpfully, "You shoulda just stayed asleep a little while longer."

She began to put pressure on it, trying to roll his shoulder back into its socket. It felt like a white-hot knife was slicing into the joint. Levi bit his tongue hard to keep from yelling and tasted blood. Then there was a popping sound and the shoulder gave, pain fading at once and relief washing over him.

"There now." The nurse stepped back, her work finished, "They'll be sore for a while but you're a wimp if you complain." And with that, she turned her back on him and moved to the next patient.

After a moment, Levi sat up and looked around. Injured soldiers covered the floor, some sleeping, some awake, and some looking dangerously pale. Slowly, he got to his feet and made his way to the whitewashed wall, leaning against it for support. Several nurses dotted the room and more than a few young people who might have been volunteer Cadets. And there was another smell he hadn't recognized before; antiseptic.

Suddenly, the scent of sanitizer and rubbing alcohol was more than he could take. Stumbling away, Levi found himself in the hallway where the air was clearer. He reached for the first person who walked past, and when she turned he recognized her.

Only a month had passed since he'd been a Cadet alongside Petra, but so much had happed since then and it felt more like a year.

"Levi?" she was carrying a bucketful of soaked bandages, he saw.

"What's going on?" he asked hoarsely, "Why are we at the Academy?"

Petra gave him a strange look, exactly like the one she'd given him at their induction. "You haven't heard?" she asked quietly.

"Heard _what?_ I was out all the way back." Levi explained irritably, feeling that he was exposing weakness to admit that he'd blacked out.

"Wall. . ." Petra seemed to stumble over the word, then found herself again. "Wall Maria has fallen."

"Don't joke about shit like that!" Levi snapped after a moment of comprehension, angered that a twerpy little Cadet could make light of such a grim topic, "You haven't _seen_ a Titan! You don't know what they look like or what they can do! You haven't watched how they can pick someone up and –"

"Levi, I'm not kidding!" it was only when she balled the bandages in her white-knuckled fist and her voice broke that Levi began to believe her. "They came through Shiganshina." She bit her lip and water pooled in her eyes. "Wall Maria. . .everything between Wall Rose and Wall Maria has been abandoned. The refugees have been coming in nonstop, we've been working since last night. So many. . ." Petra squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head, "So many are dead."

With a last glance in his direction, she continued into the laundry room while Levi sagged against the wall. His mind still refused to process it. Thousands dead, Shiganshina in ruins – he had been in Shiganshina twenty-four hours ago waiting for the gate to open.

_Wall Maria . . . is gone?_

And then Boris's face came back to him again. They had known each other for three hours, but in a world where boys with little sisters could be flattened like pancakes at any moment, three hours was a lot to speak of.

_What sort of hell do we live in?_

And then,

_The Titans _will_ die._ All_ of them will be conquered._

…

After twelve hours, the Scouts departed for Headquarters. Whoever was not fit to leave was left behind to return at a later date.

An air of solemnity hung over the entire interior. The Survey Corps travelled in somber silence, and it was broken only by the cries of civilians whose loved ones had been lost.

At one point in a small district known as Hoshira a gray-haired woman made her way down the line, a pair of twins and a blue-eyed girl trailing behind her. When she got to Levi the woman did the same as she had done to everyone else before him.

"Please," she took one of his hands in both of hers, "Have you seen my son? Boris? Boris Fuller? He's tall, black hair . . . freckles?"

It was a moment before Levi could bring himself to look at her, and then onto the identically apprehensive twins, and then into the clear blue eyes. His face said it all, he knew.

And the woman cried.

* * *

><p><strong>more Petra action next chapter, I promise! hope you enjoyed, don't forget to review! <strong>

_**for this is the end**_

_**I've drowned and dreamt this moment**_

_**so overdue I owe them**_

_**swept away i'm stolen**_

_** - Adele, Skyfall**_


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